Feeding my chicks ...

Tuesday's plan was to take Amanda with me to Publix when I got home from work. Sometimes one at a time method makes it a bit easier for each parent. But when I got inside, both of them had their backpacks and sweaters on ready to go. "Gum? Publix? Go Now?" That was Liana wondering if I could bypass a bathroom break and just head out. Jeanette had everything ready as if ... take them away now, hurry. I want to hear the walls breath.

So our Publix trip started with "Mommy cheese, please ..."
"Liana, I bought a large 32 package of the little Gouda cheeses, we still have enough."
"OOOHHH, string cheese, string cheese please!"
"Sure. I will just get some prune juice (which I call go-go juice) to help you with all that cheese you consume." Our Publix trip was a big one. Two weeks have gone by, not enough time to shop. I didn't want to go last weekend during the Super Bowl prep weekend. Too many people, not enough time. So I was a mad shopper filling the cart with almost everything we needed. Our usual stop at the deli was more to feed my piranha than to get lunch meat. Only three people ahead of me, and my number was next. But I should know better. What seems is not, and what not seems is what is. Just as the three shoppers ahead of me scampered with their loot, I was left alone. Not a sole in sight. They all disappeared somewhere. I don't know where. I was talking to Liana one minute, then the three deli people vanished. I swear, my purgatory will be the deli line and endless traffic behind Jeanette (the pokiest driver ever, since the van is just a moving phone booth). After a few more minutes, I get someone to call the number prior as I look around and no one but me is waiting (as if I were a ghost). So I feed the piranha some roast beast instead of the usual ham and we continue on. The trip took over an hour and I couldn't fit anything in the cart. I gave them a ton of options since we needed our on-the-go-foods.

We returned home to a mother who turned the whole living room into a laundry mat.

"Don't touch anything. Don't sit on the couch, walk this way, or look at the clothes in piles!" That reminded me of my mother when our pool table in the basement had stacks of clothes, all assigned to each child as we had to go grab our own stuff to wear. 7 kids with 2 parents fills up a pool table rather quick and it never ended. Our laundry for the girls was backed up. Clean but not sorted and folded. Jeanette's leaning tower of Pisa piles (which btw the town of Pisa, Italy sucks, we preferred Luca much more) all could tumble with a sneeze. After pulling out the 50 pounds of food, and prepping dinner I had Amanda peel some carrots. I want them to participate and take over my dinner duties soon so we already started. After peeling she had a huge pile of shavings. I said in plain English "clean up the table, throw out the shredding and wash for dinner." I repeated that statement twice to ensure it was followed. "All done." was the words out of her mouth when she returned from washing her hands. "Great take this plate and bring the other stuff ... hey why are the shavings still on the table? Didn't I say clean up the table ..."


"Oh yes you did, and I washed my hands."
"OK, why is the plate with shavings all over the table still?"
"Ohhhh, I thought you meant, clean the shaving's off the floor."
"Sure, but you still left the other tw0-thirds of the mess on the table." Poor sharkie had carrot shavings stuck to his tank, and mounds around it. "So you really didn't want to clean up at all huh?"

"No, sorry." That simple. I got to the root without any interrogation questions surrounding the real question. I have to start taping these sessions then play them back when she asks for the car, money, etc.

Feeding the smallest chick ...
At 8:15 we had the girls bathed, ready for bed so I could leave and see Alexandra. Arriving just after 8:30 is rare and the place was not too busy. Ali's nurse was Reggie, a person I haven't seen yet. She looked super cute with a new hat on and an envelope for "Mommy" showing her first bottle-fed event. Which for a preemie is a milestone.

Sorry for the picture quality. These are from the hospital which I scanned and they seem way too grainy. If their ISO level is at 400 in low light, you get this quality. That's why I love my Rebel XT DLSR, which we purchased 5 years ago for nearly $1k but has been worth it ever since.

Reggie was busy with another screaming infant, which means he's about ready to leave the NICU. Alexandra was all over the place as her head was pinned against the side as she squirmed all over. Arms, legs, torso flailing. So taking her temperature took a while since I couldn't keep her arm to her side long enough for good readings. After I changed her diaper we were ready for feeding. Her new orders were, bottle once a day, feed by tube three times a day. So we had to use the method of holding her bottle of milk in the air like an IV as it slowly went down the tube into her mouth. It seems they put a tube with only a few inches from her mouth so using the machine that slowly pushes the milk to her stomach was not an option. So I held the syringe of milk above her head. After about 10 minutes of no movement, Reggie check in. "Uh oh, not much movement." So she put it in her hands as if mine were holding the fluids from moving. Shake, move, shake. Then she pushed the syringe down to force the movement. That did it. So after a couple more minutes, I took it back over so she could do other things.

The mad scientist walked in as I was feeding her. Which is one of the NICU doctors who had long grey/white hair that is always all over. "Hey how's baby?" he asks as he looks at her."Doing well, squirming and eating." was my reply. Then he walks away. SHIT, SHIT, SHITTT! I should of kept my mouth shut, now he's going to add another $1500 consultation fee to the bill for just speaking. CRAP, must think before opening mouth.

About 15 minutes later it stopped again at 10ml, which is 2/3 finished since she started at 30ml which is slightly over an ounce. More issues with the flow so she put the plunger in the syringe and gave it some pressure. It started to flow again. I kept Ali's pacifier in her mouth to help her digest and take away some of the gas. But the usual happens at the end of her feeding. She gets full and needs to be burped. So just as the milk reached the end she started to squirm and flail. I could hear her say "I need to burp, damn my belly is full, stop the pump stop the pump." And it started to fill back up to 8ml. It was the residual, which is spit up that she could take or hold down. I couldn't do more than tap her back since she was in her NICU bubble. I prefer feeding her while holder her since there are options to burp and hold up right. How many times do we drink and eat while laying down? Ok, maybe not the perfect question for all of us.

So when Reggie came back to check "Ah, going kinda slow, but still moving." "No, actually that's her residual, coming back up." A few more minutes go by ... "Ok, things are going slow huh?" "No actually it went to 8ml now since that is her residual she can't re-digest." "OK, lets use the plunger again ..." Which is like trying to plunge a wash cloth down the toilet after you just plunged the dam toilet to get it out. I could see the particles in the residual since the milk already hit the tummy, coagulated, and came back up. Just as she plunged the amount went up to 10, then 12ml. "Awe, Alexandra is squirming, what's wrong?"
"You KEEP pushing the milk down my throat, that's what's wrong! Can't you see I can't take anymore?!" As Ali moves around like a fish out of water.
"Hmm, maybe Dad, we will let you hold her while she finishes the bottle." "Really that's her residual that she probably can't re-take."

I haven't gotten a response with that line yet so Reggie prepped Ali to be held. Which usually means, they get the lines attached to her ready so they can go to a 3-4 foot length while she is outside her bubble. I gave Reggie a blanket and she couldn't figure out the pickup inside the bubble and wrap in a blanket movement. Which for the seasoned nurse is like flipping a large omelet with minimal wrist movement and not making a mistake.

I could see the experience level when she told me to hold the blanket out on my chest and I will give her to you to wrap. So she held Alexandra out like Rafiki in the Lion King holding and displaying Simba. I could feel her shiver with the cold. I was thinking of farting to warm up the area but decided not to. So I wrap her up quickly and ask for her hat and we start the feeding process again. More issues as no more than a drop went down. I had my hands full, holding the syringe in one hand and Ali in the other, trying to burp her with my fingers. More issues, after 10 minutes Reggie looked and then did the plunger in the syringe move to push the particles through the thin tube.

"I don't think she can take the last 8ml." Was my response on the feeble attempt to top her off. Then an image I had once happened a few minutes later. I once filled my gas tank too much and the pressure from the lack of air intake pushed the gas out like a myst, squirting all over. Alexandra started to spit and gag, chunks of milk out like a volcano.

"ahh Reggie. Reggie! R-E-G-G-I-E!!!" That got everyone's attention as she had to put the pen down and stop doing a chart to see what happened. I couldn't do much having all my hands full. I had to burp her as the feeding now ended, one way or another. "I guess we will just have to end the feeding." as I heard bells chimming, ringing from all around like the THX sound intro. No shit Sherlock. Feeding her took almost 2 hours. About 5 times longer than usual. I can't always push my way but I have noticed that each day comes a new nurse which changes the consitancy of how treatment is given to Alexandra. Small things like feedings can be easy or laborious. Bathtimes can be good or bad. All the little things change and at times become harder or easier. That's the hard part about hospitals, you can't control nor give the same care you could at home.