A Crazy Tuesday

Why do soap operas seem so fake?

I usually get stuck around the 10 time frame watching General Hospital in the background during a pumping session. That is Jeanette's program umbilical that she had since a teenager. The show where half the characters are on the dark side of the law and the other half know it and love the danger but don't want to be part of it. The more I see it the more I dislike it, not for the sappy undeclared love each of them have for each other. Nor the friends swapping or predictability. Most have jobs but never work. It dawned on me when I looked over one evening, just before I was going to make a smart ass comment about Sunny not being too bright. Whenever they have conversations (90% of the time) they are doing nothing but looking at each other, within arms reach, and they do nothing but talk while looking at each other. No one is picking up an item. No attention diversions. No reading and listening. Just face-to-face conversations. What kind of unrealistic crap is that?

Early Pumping Issues

I received a call after the usual 8 am update "The pump is not working. Its broken." So we go through the obvious steps to resuscitate any appliance. Unplug, reset, try another outlet, kick, drop, etc. Nothing worked and the well was going to burst if a replacement isn't done soon. But a work to Kendall to Mercy to Kendall to work in the early morning hours was impossible. So Jeanette called and nearby friend and John was able to come to the rescue. He lives nearby and was able to pick her up, endure the ear bleeding update stories and return her for a nice long wait outside until Abuela could open the front door to let them in. A 90 minute trip could have turned out to be a half day event for me.

Alexandra Visits:

Amanda, Jeanette and Abuelo were able to visit during the afternoon. Amanda stood and held her hand (or was it Ali held Amanda's hand) for about an hour while Mom changed diaper twice (Ali peed on her the first time) and took her temperature. She is now weighing a few ounces more and taking 15ml instead of the 12ml yesterday. Jeanette was able to probe the nurse for about an hour of questions as she was a friend of a friend of a friend who had a dog that was named after the teacher they both had years ago. Technically the "Latin Underground" can have multiple fibers of connections, doesn't matter how many, how elaborate, or ridiculous, once they have at least 5 degrees of someone in common a bond of help is usually extended. I have witnessed this fact many times, and I don't argue or turn down a connection, just accept it. Anyways all I know is that NO ONE will be able to touch Alexandra once out of the hospital unless they scrub with soap prior. The biggest risk for her is everyone else at least for the first few months as she will not be able to fight off normal bacteria we take for granted. That means Amanda will be kicked out of the van door at school and asked to join a friend to class instead of the normal parental walk to and from class. Also, Liana will have to have a waterless soap dispenser attached to her back with a tube over her shoulder so she can clean her hands every 15 minutes or if she gets within 5 feet of Ali. I can make the soap dispenser with a backpack animal but I will have to figure out the distance detector.

My Crazy Issue

I had a quick 20 minute visit on the way home from work. Alexandra was sleeping after her touch time with Amanda and peeing in Mom. Not much movement. She looked good and is getting larger. I had to run to get 5lbs of cookie dough at BJ's for Amanda's large birthday cookie for class on Friday. I had an incident going back to the house that describes a Miami driver, lets call the person Asshole-A. Well I was trying to take a left before the corner of 72nd and 117th, which has 2 miles of traffic heading west. A suicidal turn but the other exit is worse so I waited behind a car turn left as well. Then a car driven by Asshole-A pulled on my left and tried to turn left in front next to me. Yes, Asshole-A in the "coming in" lane. Occasionally, Asshole-B drivers turn left from the right turn lane (which was open), but this driver had the balls to go out an entrance and force themselves into traffic. Lucky for me the west bound traffic was not letting the person out, despite Asshole-A's attempts to move into the road. Now Asshole-A was at a stop and I had to roll down the window to feel the breeze. Lucky for me I had plenty of change in my car (mostly pennies) so I grabbed a few and threw them at the car. Pling-Pling-Pling-Plong (the nickel). "Hey back UP Asshole!" Asshole-A ignoring me. Another handfull of coins ... Pling-Plang (quarter), Pling - Ding (windshield hit). "Yeah YOU asshole backup!!" in my drill instructor-like bellowing voice. Ahh, now the good part. Someone was trying to enter and Asshole-A was blocking the way. Well that person couldn't move in and Asshole-A still refused to put the car in reverse and backup 40 feet. Now I looked to my left at the west bound traffic and Asshole-A was blocking the entire lane since the other person couldn't enter or leave. Honking ensued and other cars behind me started to give their input. Well I actually had a break in traffic and I left. I doubt Asshole-A got out since a car was in front of them and three other cars behind me. I really couldn't believe the issue. And no this wasn't the first time it happened. But I can say it only happens in Miami. I will not get on my idiots driving banter as you already endured a small incident that most of us have seen one way or another. All I know is I don't put up with the shit and will not hesitate to say something. Especially when people park in front of Publix instead of a parking slot like the normal people. Now that one happened a couple months ago when I had both girls by myself. I was getting cash from the teller and a large pickup truck parks in front of the door and two large young kids get out and then their father a 6' something large chested dickhead (call him Asshole-B) gets out, walks to the door and puts on his vehicle alarm. I look behind him and see 4 open parking spaces just on the other side, about 20 feet away. "Hey, there are plenty spot behind you!" He looks at me like I am a piece of shit he could step on (and could if he got a clean shot). "Are you talking to me?!"

"Yes, as you can see" me pointing behind his large mellon head "there are." So he walks away as if I never said a word. Then Amanda asks me "Why is that man so rude and parks where he shouldn't?" My comments were "There are many people in this world that will do as they please no matter what is wrong, since most ignore it and leave them alone." Amanda's comment "That's sad."

"No Amanda" as I am now walking past him as he picks up an item "What's sad Amanda is that his children will learn from him and follow his lead. That is the sad part." I knew he heard me and I was waiting for a response. I memorized his tag number just in case something ensued. But Asshole-B was not seen again during the rest of the Publix visit. I bet if I didn't have the girls with me he would have done more than ignore me. Not sure if that was good or bad...

Saturday Night Live Skits I would love to see:

• A Sam Kinneson impersonation - what if he was a Legal Professor instead of a comedian. "Uh, why are you here taking your first class to become an attorney?" As he paces the large class, tapping his pointing stick on his other hand. In his sweet kind voice "You, preeety young teenage girl, why are you here?" "I want to uphold the law and defend the innocent from injustice like my Daddy." He then walks toward the center of the room "Wrong!!! You want to make MONEY, filthy gobs of the green shit. You want to LIE, STEAL, and CHEAT people from M-O-N-E-Y! You lying sweet young tart, but if you call me Daddy I will ...."
  
• How Things were really invented skit: an old Japanese man picks of a green glob, smells it. Examines it. Looks at the crap his wife just served him. Then smears some of it on the fish. Smells it again. Then gives it to his friend. "Try", ugh the friend doesn't want to eat the bad smelling fish. "Me not try, you!" "No smell" "I smell nothing" he hesitate and then he tastes it. His eyes swell, mouth opens, breaths deep, takes a sip of sake. "DAM, That's good!" And that was how (and why) wasabi was invented.